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Nurul Ain Binti Mohd Salim

Nurul Ain Binti Mohd Salim

Student

I'm a handicapped person. I have eye problems and only can see on one side. When I was growing up, everything upset me. I can't deny that I felt so bad. Then I lost my confidence when I got to know that certain people including my family underestimated me. I knew they were worried about me, so they didn't allow me to go anywhere or do anything alone. But the effect was that I couldn't do anything by myself and even if I wanted to, I didn't know how.

So criticisms always came to me. At school, they said I didn't need to study so hard and get good results because my father could afford to let me study at university later. I wasn't a good student, but since I didn't know how to do other things, I just had my studies in life. During secondary school, I had one dream: I wanted to get my PHD, even though I hadn't thought about what field I wanted to study. I just knew that PhD was a high level in education and it meant 'Doktor Falsafah' (Doctor of Philosophy) but still I kept this dream for myself.

My exam results were not good: 3As and 2As for my PMR and SPM. I didn't know where to go, what to do. My mother wanted me to study accounting or business, but I didn't want to. My father tried asking me to study pharmacology and I agreed. Since then, my mother always says that if I had taken any of her suggestions, my studies wouldn't be this hard. For my diploma, I couldn't enter college because of my SPM results. I admit that my father pulled strings to let me study at the college. My aunt and my cousin underestimated me because my cousin had better results than me, but I got the chance to study there. It wasn't easy for me to catch up on my studies so my lecturer asked me to quit. He volunteered to write a letter that informed the college I wanted to stop studying...but I refused. My program head also didn't believe in me. They sent me to hospital twice for an eye checkup: once during my second semester and again before I went for my practicals. Because of my case, the rules to enter the college for my juniors have become quite strict because they don't want students like me again in the future. I felt like they didn't want me to proceed with my practicals because they said the doctors wouldn't allow me to, but they passed me...so I'm not sure about that.

During my practicals, again certain staff did not believe in me, so they did not allow me to do certain things especially labelling and filing at the Outpatient Department (OPD). But I tried to do it without them noticing, because I still had friends and staff that believed in me and they kept teaching me and backing me up if I got into trouble. Finally they gave me a chance to perform. They placed me at a busy counter.

I'm doing my Masters in Biomedicine now. Even it's not easy, I believe I can do something in the future for others. I want to be a researcher, lecturer and writer. I'm not good but still I can learn to be better for myself and for others.